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Everybody has the right to have a voice, their reasons are their own. For some it is simply to say what they need to and in doing so it allows them to share the weight of what they are feeling, for some it is to give courage to others and for some it is simply to get it off their chest. Thank you for sharing your story. 

This is Mary’s story. To brighter futures

There has been 2 stories in the news lately that have really affected me. Firstly, Allison and then this Italian family. I have decided that I want to share some of my story, if you wish to read it, but mainly to get it off my chest.

I will try not to bore you completely but it went really downhill in December 2011

I hadn’t seen my son for 4 days and when I called to speak to him, I was refused or my calls went unanswered. On the day my ex dropped him back to me (at a friend’s place close to his father’s) at 4pm he was dropped at 7:30 which had left my partner and I at a Xmas party my son had been invited to, without my son, for 3 1/2 hours. To put it nicely, I was cranky and let my ex know!

Anyway, Christmas Eve comes around and we hadn’t heard from him for days and the kids are waiting for him to turn up to spend the day with him. He never shows up and doesn’t answer his phone all day. He then calls on Xmas day and tells the kids he was busy yesterday and they then ask to spend an hour or so today being Xmas Day with him and again he says no as ‘your Mother won’t let me.’ I am standing right there and had already told the kids they could go. So then another excuse was forthcoming.

I then contacted him again on the 30th December to ask if he had any intention at all of seeing his children over this holiday period and as we are going away on the 1st did he want them overnight that night? He had to ask Caroline and then let me know. He did have them overnight that night, but I had to take them there.

Then the penny drops!

I have the police call me at while I was away to say they are looking for me to serve me with a DVO (domestic Violence Order) as my ex has said that I punched him in the nose and in the mouth and also told him to ‘grow a penis’ on the 18th December.

He had requested that an urgent order be served on me as he was in fear of his safety.

There were other people there that night and he did not take a photo of himself, see a doctor or report it to the police. He waited 3 days and then has his ‘piece of work’ solicitor lodge it for him.

There were events in my marriage that had things gone a little too far, I too could have been an Allison, but I would never have used them legally to gain an advantage or use the law as in the Italian case, to get my own way.

I have been in court 3 times this year and spent over thousands of dollars fighting this. I did end up a DVO against me, but a very mild one (must not swear at him or commit domestic violence) as I did confess to the ‘grow a penis’  but at least he and his solicitor did not get their way which was the whole intention anyway, to have my children taken from me.

Ironically, after all this rubbish and over the last 3 years being harassed, bullied, blackmailed etc he has now written letters to the children that he won’t be seeing them anymore as it is in their best interest. Even though I had a parenting agreement done where he can have them every second weekend he has decided on this….

I have always encouraged the kids to see their dad and have a relationship with him but maybe he is right and it is in their best interests not to see him?

Well at least I am starting to get my life back, the kids are doing really well and we have some exciting plans in the wind.

Take care

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Fiona’s Story

Fiona's Story

“Thankfully my panic attacks are very few and far between nowadays, though I remain nervous but think I always will be. I never thought at the height of my PTSD that my symptoms would settle down, it is so nice they have although I am always in ‘alert’ mode.”  Fiona

I have PTSD, trust me I know all about Panic and Anxiety, more than I ever wish I knew, I have written many things about it too, it will be different for all of us.  I used to have Panic Attacks on pretty much a daily basis, they are few and far between now, my symptoms have eased, Anxiety, I can name far too many ways and far too many causes and results, I am very curious, having PTSD has changed my life, just to clarify I am a Survivor of Random, Extreme, Life Threatening Violence, without going into the whole thing, which we as PTSD people avoid.  I recall once in the City and there was a man walking not far behind me, I was so aware of him and his every movement, he went to cross over the road and walked in front of me, I screamed at him to ‘get away from me’ He must have thought I was a mad woman.  After my heart is racing I am in full Fight or Flight Mode, I had to stand with my back to the wall and practice my breathing exercises until I was calm enough to carry on in my direction.

The following article originally appeared in The Sunday Times newspaper printed on 20/06/2010.The article was written by Billy Rule and the picture was taken by Karin Calvert.

Thank you for sharing your story with all of us Fiona.  You can  read more about Fiona on her blog, PTSD the nuttiness and the humour.

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